has been very difficult mentally and I have seriously struggled to contain my emotions. I have managed to turn off the waterworks thanks to a friend’s support who has been with me most of the day via PM.
I couldn’t cope at all anymore.
I was crying for help.
What has happened is I was no longer able to keep afloat, I was drowning amongst all my fights: mental fights, administrative duties, physical fight (I coming to the end of my calcium crisis), looking for work.
I was unable to take my kid to see his dad at our shop today as I didn’t want him to see my tears.
I am just tired of a lot of things and I need healing. I need cuddles. I need love.
One thing my kid said made me smile. He asked if I had cooked dinner already. I said no. He was extremely happy as he considered that he’d then go on the computer. If mummy cooks, he gets the computer. Someone already understood how things work.
I am going to make an analogy of how my heart is feeling at the moment:
Imagine a pan full of water. This is how I am. Any additional item going in the pan makes the water go overboard. Hence I struggle.
Today I am finding it really hard.
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